Coming Home

Coming home was definitely harder than I had imagined. We finally got home at about 10pm the day I left the hospital and there had been some mix up with home care so I didn't have stuff really properly set up. Before I went in for surgery I didn't understand why I would need home care-I had no idea how difficult it was still going to be when I got home. The first month at home was very difficult for an independent person like me who hates to ask for any help at all. Sometimes I would rather do stuff myself and even put myself in danger versus ask for help. So this experience was not only difficult but incredibly humbling as well.

That first night at home was so much more difficult than I had prepared myself for. First challenge was using the toilet without a raised toilet seat or anything to hang on to b/c sitting down was still really hard on my back. The next challenge was laying down in my bed with out the bed rail on the hospital bed that I had come to rely on to help myself up. I remember managing to lay down on my bed across the end (I have a double bed) and not being able to push myself up and having my mom trying to pull me up by the arm-believe me I don't reccomend that! The pain that shot through me was terrible. Oops. I did finally manage to get up and get into bed the right way. The next day Home Care came out and made my life so much easier. The only issue left was that I was still throwing up which continued for about 2 weeks. What Home Care could not help with was my inability to lift anything above a pound or so. I had to ask to have help with something as small as the water pitcher! Another problem was that I could not bend down to reach the floor so every time I dropped something I needed to call for help to pick it up. I felt terrible about being a burden on my family and asking so much of them but the amazing thing is that they did not mind and never complained about helping me. But it didn't stop me from trying to get creative that I could manage to get something that fell with out calling for help. The only thing is that most often I would still end up calling for help b/c I realized I couldn't always get what ever fell. I learned it is better just to ask. Recovery for the first month was painful and slow but there was progress no matter how slow. I found it and still find it very effective to look back a week or a month and look at what I was dealing with then compared to what I am dealing with now. Most often I could notice at least something if not a few things.