One year after first surgery

Hello,

The date of October 15 will now always hold significance to me because it is the date of my first surgery to fix my back. This October 15 (2008) marked one year since my surgery and I kept thinking about where I was a year before and how far I really had come. In the span of one year, I had two surgeries with the first one having minor complications that caused alot of pain and the second surgery finally fixing my back hopefully for good. Then there was also all the struggles that came with the two surgeries and recovery and frustrations etc. I couldn't help thinking that hopefully the next year would go better! I have to say I was proud of myself how much I had managed to get through and it was alot to get through. When you have this surgery, it is not just surgery that you have to get through-it is also the recovery process that follows which can be painstakingly slow and sometimes it seems as though there is no improvement and that can be discouraging. Plus it is also not being able to be independent and needing help with the basic things like being able to sit up for long periods of time and being able to drive myself where ever I wanted to go and lifting things that seemed so light before but impossibly heavy after the surgery. It was learning to ask for help when I needed it instead of doing it myself. It was learning patience which was something that I needed to learn badly. It was being stuck in bed for long periods of time after each surgery staring at the ceiling and trying to keep my sanity and not get bored. It was trying to find creative ways to pass the time while laying on my bed and trying not to dwell on all the stuff I could have been doing if I were not stuck in bed. It was yearning to be out and about around people when I was stuck at home by myself. I went through so many days that I felt so extremely alone and wished for someone/anyone to even phone me. I think the feeling of being so cut off from the world was the hardest thing emotionally to deal with. I don't mean to make anyone feel bad-I am just being very honest. I know people were busy and didn't have alot of free time and I accept that but I still felt the way I did. Also another struggle was trying to keep positive after learning things didn't go as planned and finding out I would need more surgery. Oh and wearing a brace was another thing to get through-it was not fun in the least! That hard plastic thing was hot and annoying and I was sooo glad to be rid of it when I finally could be! So many little things I got through and pushed through to get to the point I was at one year later and all I had been through really made me feel good about myself. I also felt that all that I had got through made me stronger and a better person in terms of learning patience which has been a work in progress for sure! Throughout the past few yrs I would think how my life was on hold and I was missing out but looking back as this point on this day, I think this actually was a part of my life that has made me hopefully a better person. I think this whole experience has enabled me to understand what it is like to go through some stuff and that it would better help me to relate with other people who are also struggling. Of course I would have rather not gone through this if I could have learned these things any other way! lol But I think the best way to understand something is to experience it firsthand. I just hope I can help someone even just a little.