A realization

Hello again,
I have come to a new realization, a breakthrough really. All my life I have been different and had different circumstances than maybe the average person. I do not and never have used this as an excuse however. I have lived with back pain most of my life and would say chronic pain for at least the last 10-15yrs of my life. I have always been hard on myself and tried to achieve what my peers were achieving and sometimes I fell short and that would be very upsetting and I would put myself down. I have always been hard on myself for not being as good as other people. The last 10 yrs I have been especially hard on myself because this is the time that my peers have been working and moving out and going to college and getting married etc. Big life changes and I have not been keeping up but rather falling further and further behind. I have been hard on myself and said I should be at this point and I should have a career and a place of my own etc because that is what other people my age have. It hasn't mattered that I accomplished alot despite the challenges I have faced. In my eyes it wasn't enough because it was not as good as what other people had accomplished. Not to toot my own horn but I had my own business before I had to quit working in 2004 and was successful at it and I did that despite the daily challenges I faced. How many people can say that they had their own business even if they had failed at it? There have been many times I have asked why I had to be different and why I had to have all the pain but I have realized that I should have also asked Why not me?
Now for the realization and the breakthrough. I have been dealt different circumstances than other people and I can't measure my accomplishments with the same measuring stick as someone who has had different challenges. I am not saying other people have had it easy-just that we all have our mountains to climb and different challenges and I can't compare myself to someone else. I can't think about how other people might look at me and think I am not working very hard because I am not in a place of my own or what ever. I don't know that people do think that but maybe what I worry about other people thinking. I have to look at the fact that I have always done my best and worked as hard as I could and never given up. I have done my best to push through what ever comes my way and done so to the best of my ability. So I may not have been able to work for the last 5yrs because of pain and problems standing and I have had to live with my parents because I could not afford my own place. I have never given up though sometimes it was close. I have done my best with what I have been given and that is all I can do. I have to stop kicking myself for not being in the same spot as someone else. I have to be content with what I am able to do but not so content that I don't still push myself to continue to keep doing more. But I can't be so hard on myself. I have possibly gone through tough stuff that the average person doesn't have to deal with and surgery and rods in my back etc and it explains why I am not accomplished the same amount as my peers but I also can't let it stop me from trying to do all I can do. I don't know if this makes any sense whatsoever. I am trying to explain how I feel and what I have realized but sometimes it is difficult to put into words. I hope I have explained myself well enough to get the point across that I am trying to make.